An American Haunting – 2005

Wanted to see a horror movie and this was free On Demand.  So here we go!

Kid has a poster of the movie Monster in her room.  Oookay.

Mom takes stuff away from the teen that she took out of the attic and hits the Absolute.  Sounds like a plan.  Ah, flashbacks via a journal hidden in the attic.

There’s a “Bell Witch” and the family name in the past is Bell.  I’m following along so far.

If I ever hit the lottery, I’d pay Donald Sutherland to read me the newspaper every morning.  God, I love his voice.

Teacher and the kid getting a little too close for daddy’s liking.

Okay, dad’s a dick, lady he screwed over puts a curse on him and now they have to have a seance to get the haunting spirits out of the house.

Aren’t horror movies supposed to be scary?

Great cast (at least Spacek and Sutherland) but overly disappointing execution.

“Don’t die, Miss Lucy, don’t die.”  Good advice, thanks.

Let’s see…I live in a haunted house but I’m going to play with the ghost…this has to be a dream.

Yep, a dream.

Eyes rolling into the back of your head, always a good effect.

Kid is being dragged up the stairs…ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…

There is still another 30 minutes left to this thing.  Longest 90 minutes of my life.

Okay, I’m totally missing something.  “You know the truth”  share it with us, would you?

And daddy tries to get the chick who put the curse on him to shoot him in the head.  But then curse chickie tells him there is no curse and that he cursed himself.  Sucks to be you.

So he tries to kill him self and, presumably, end the curse.  No dice, dad, it won’t be that easy.

Raped by a ghost?  Really?

“Mama always was a heavy sleeper”  Okay, not ghost rape, daddy rape.  So, wait, her father raped her and now there’s a ghost?  What?  “Make him pay for what he’s done to us”  Okay, I’m down with that.  I’m not getting the whole ghost thing, though.  How can I be too stupid to watch this ridiculous movie?

Betsey’s giving daddy some medicine.  I have a feeling it isn’t medicine…yep, there he goes.  Enjoy the dirt nap, dad.  And mom, she’s looking on, she figured it out too.  So they kill dad for molesting her…where does the haunting come in??

Back to real life.  Modern day teen doesn’t want to see her dad.  Mom sends her off.

She sees the ghost of Betsey with the blood on her gown and she yells “help her”!  Mom chases kid and ex-hubby while screaming.

90 minutes of my life I can never, ever get back.  Thanks for nothing, Sissy Spacek.

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