The Dance

In 2004, after the Game 1 debacle of the ALCS, I decided to "live blog" Game 2.   I wasn’t keeping a blog at the time so I just did it in MS Word.  I’ve shared it with a few friends a while ago and then, I thought, I lost it.  But today, going through some old files, I found it again.  I haven’t read it over and, this being MLBlogs, I’m sure there will be more than one word censored out…but I thought it would be fun to reprint it here.  It gives you a good idea what my mindset was during the beginning of that time.  It was the only account of the post season that I kept for two reasons, 1) I was convinced doing it the first time jinxed the Sox and 2) after game 2, I was so antsy during the games that half the time I wasn’t even in the house, let alone in front of a computer!  I posting it here so I won’t lose it again – and so hopefully it will entertain someone!  As has been suggested by others, I decided to do this particular live blog because Bill Simmons did one and I thought doing one of my own would entertain me and keep me calm.  I was wrong.

* The title of this post references the Garth Brooks song.  I will always believe, had we not suffered so, the win in 2004 wouldn’t have been as special.  But, man, did we ever suffer!  🙂


I’m watching the Celtics…..I’d rather watch Doc Rivers than Jeannie Zelasko –
call me kookie.


The Celtics are getting their butts kicked. Pre-season or not, I can’t deal
with THEIR failure just yet. On to Fox.


Fox 25 just showed Dan Duquette….are they owned by the Yankees? They’re going
to interview him on the morning show tomorrow. I’m guessing it’ll be one of
their lower rated shows.


Detroit 37 Boston 19….sometimes I wonder why I was born a Boston sports fan.


Tim McCarver called the Red Sox "tenacious"…..does he think that makes up for
repeatedly calling Bronson Arroyo "Brandon" last night? Henceforth, he’ll be
called "Tim McCarthy" in honor of Tom Caron.


There is a guy on the Pistons named "Smoosh" Parker???? Tommy has already
yelled it 3 times. I haven’t started drinking yet…..but this sounds like
something I’d make up when I’m hung over.

Dinner tonight is Pedro Salsa, chips and Budweiser…aren’t you stunned that
I’m still single?

For the record, I’m wearing my autographed red Kevin Millar jersey. If
they win tonight I’m not taking it off the rest of the week. Maybe for the rest
of the year.


Game’s on….my father just called Jon Lieber "Roger" because of the number on
his jersey. Hope that isn’t an omen. Ball one. Nope, he’s still Jon Lieber.


First shot of Curt Schilling in the dugout. I’m sure we’ll be beaten to death
with him all night.


1,2,3 inning for Lieber…Manny strikes out on a pitch that was closer to the
dugout than it was to the plate. It’s time to crack open the Bud.


3rd time my father called the guys at Fox a bunch of a-holes

It won’t be the last.


Jeter just stole second.  I don’t think a six pack will be enough.


Pedro just hit ARod in the wrist……2 on no outs.

I should be more upset about that but I’m more bothered that he didn’t hit
him in the face.  Okay, the butt.

1-0…..Yankees score on a Sheffield hit…..Al Leiter is already on the
anti-Pedro bandwagon.


Is it too much to hope that Tim McCarthy gets blinded by his hair dye? Pedro
strikes out Matsui….let’s do some damage control.


Tim McCarthy is mad that Jason has the nerve to talk to his pitcher….Pedro
strikes out Bernie….back to back called strikeouts. Al and McCarthy need to shut


Al Leiter thinks they think ARod is picking up Pedro’s pitches. Man I hope he
gets hit again. Pedro gets out of the first inning only giving up 1 run….I like
the way he looks.


Detroit 49 Boston 40…..Mark Blount looks pretty good. Dammit, I’m sucked in
so easily! Celts are coming back, Pedro got out of the inning by handling the
Yankees quite nicely….these are good signs.


Fox shows Pedro’s Spanish speaking "I Live for This" commercial. Better than
watching ARod with those Boys/Girls Club kids.


Albert Pujols just tied the Cards/Astros game. I heart him. I just can’t deal
with Clemens being in the post season again.

My man Millar is up…..Joe Buck should shut up (talking about Cowboy Up and
then crediting him with the "idiots" comment). Okay, McCarver is McCarthy…Joe
Buck is officially Joe Schmuck. Millar is out.


2nd obligatory shot of Curt in the dugout.

8:48pm obligatory Curt shot number 3.

I wonder how many times we’re going to be forced to hear Bill Morgan talk
about the "sheath snapping over the bone"…there’s an image I really don’t need.

8:49pm – obligatory Curt shot number 4 – Varitek
grounds out. They’re making Lieber look like Clemens. Maybe my father DID put
the good whammy on him. My father has the uncanny ability to get the Sox to do
what he wants through insulting them. "Bellhorn’s up, he’ll strike out as
usual…HEY he hit a homerun." Now I’m concerned he’s unwittingly using his powers
to help the enemy.

John Olerud used to be one of my favorite non Red Sox players. Now I want him
to go down hard.


But I’ll take a groundout. Hey look, Fox took an opportunity to show Clemens
even though they were talking about Schilling. How resourceful of them.


My father called Joe Schmuck "Jack". Tim McCarthy is channeling Mike Meyers
as Linda Richmond…Pedro walked Cairo. I have no problem with that.

I used to love Al Leiter. Now I’m hoping he gets a sore throat. Or maybe


Jeter is coming up. 2 on 1 out. I know I shouldn’t want Pedro to nail
Jeter….I guess I don’t. Maybe Captain Intangibles will hit into a double play.

Well, Pedro seems to be trying to give me my wish.


Joe Schmuck feels the need to explain the "Who’s Your Daddy?" chant. Does he
think anyone watching the game doesn’t know what it’s about? I hate them. I hate
them all.


Pedro hit 17 Yankee batters in the 2004 season and so far 1 in the post
season. When I play High Heat on my computer, if it’s versus the Yankees I
always lose because I make all my pitchers hit their batters. Try it, it’s fun.
When you get to your last pitcher they won’t throw him out. He can hit them over
and over and over again.


Joe Schmuck has basically told the world that Pedro is a psycho because of
the things he has said and the fights he’s gotten into. Can Pedro get to Schmuck
from the pitcher’s mound with a fast ball? I’d pay good money to see it.


Curt Schilling is in the dugout?????? Unbelievable. You’d think Fox would
have shown him before now.


96 MPH fastball by Pedro. And the Fox idiots are still talking trash about


With apologies to Dan Patrick: FROZEN PIZZA!!!!! Dora (ARod to his friends)
just struck out looking. So sad. So very sad.


My mother thinks Pedro pitches better with the Jeri Curl in his hair (I guess
sometimes he wears it dry) so she’s encouraged tonight.

This is a sickness, you realize this.

OC gets a leadoff single, thank you Joe Schmuck!


Was that a sacrifice bunt? Not really, but I’ll take it.

Remember in "The Natural" when Robert Redford hits the foul ball through the
glass, landing in front of Robert Duvall? It would be sweet if Damon did that to
Tim McCarthy.


Man on third, two outs and Bellhorn up. God hates me.


Inning over. God really hates me.


Bottom of the 3rd….since we’re keeping track of such things. If
Gary Sheffield and Kevin Millar were standing next to each other in their
batting stances they could beat the crap out of each other without even meaning

Good God Al Leiter wants a job with Fox, doesn’t he?


It would have been more fun if Kevin had smacked Matsui in the face with his
glove instead of tagging the base.


Detroit 71 Boston 69 in the 3rd quarter….good sign. VERY good

Clicked on the Debate….Bush has that pained look on his face, like someone
who has to pee but can’t leave his desk. Kerry just made a "Sopranos" reference.
Good God, it truly is the end of the world, isn’t it?

Let’s put Bush, Kerry, Dora and Varitek in the ring for a free for all
wrestling match. Whoever wins gets to be the President AND gets a World Series


Missed Manny’s and Ortiz’s at bats because of the President and the Senator.
If they call Millar "the idiot" one more time I’m going to spit.

What the hell is with that check swing thing Kevin does??????? 1-0 bottom of
the fourth.


Back to the debate. The President started his statement by saying "whoo!".
And he used the word "litany". Good for him.


Houston is winning 4-2…my head is starting to hurt. I can’t believe my sister
hasn’t called yet to call Posada that "rat faced ****" or "the little
weasel". Maybe last night scared her off tonight?

Is it pronounced OHSwalt? I thought it was OZwalt. Fox makes this stuff up,

Do you think every time Jeff Kent gets a hit in the post season he thinks
"take THAT Barry!"?


Hey Kenny Lofton’s up. Too bad Millar is still on first. I could use a good

So far Pedro is ON tonight. Would be nice if Johnny Damon etal could wake the
hell up!

Sit the hell down Kenny. Strike out number 4.


The Debate…do the people who produce American flag pins get bonuses during
these shows? What if you showed up without your pin? Do you lose electoral
votes? Bush just said "buggy and horse days"…….my head hurts. (lest you think
I’m being hard on Bush and not Kerry, it isn’t my fault whenever I click over
Bush is on….just dumb luck).


Trot is up. Can they do something?????? Please?????? Even Al Leiter is
begging for it.


Kenny Albert and Jon Lieber’s dad. No favoritism from Fox…not at all. Joe
Buck is determined to jinx Lieber the way he did Mussina last night.


Another Clemens reference. Stunning. I’m sure Lieber appreciates it. OC is up
– 2 outs.

I don’t think asking for a tie is too much. I really don’t.

What the hell was OC swinging at?


Hey, Pedro has a two-hitter and Lieber has a one-hitter…..these idiots are
talking about Lieber like he’s pitching circles around Pedro. Idiots.


Maybe that guy wants to EAT the popcorn that his girlfriend is giving the
birds? I hate commercials.


Obligatory Nicholson shot…oh and now a Matt Damon shot. Well thankfully it
isn’t Ben Affleck. Do Yankees fans NOT know what an out looks like? They cheer
every time contact gets made.


Sheffield is up. 1 on 1 out. Pedro should nail him.


Fox is making me dizzy with the Pedro/Sheff/Dora cutaway shots.


If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Tek was aiming for Pedro. Who’s your
daddy, indeed.


"Sit down you ****", my dad to Sheffield. We don’t take this too
seriously. No, not at all.

I need to interject here that the coupling of Pedro’s pitching and my
keeping this journal is keeping me much calmer than I would normally be.


I don’t know if she’s serious or not, but my mother keeps calling Matsui

Yes, this sickness runs through my entire family. Even my 3 year old


Why haven’t the Yankees fans figured out that the "Who’s your daddy" chant
isn’t working? Maybe they should, oh, try rooting for their team?


Caught Mitsubishi looking!


Boston 101 Detroit 92 with four minutes left in the game. PLEASE let this be
a good sign.


Hey Kerry’s on! Do you think he could speak if someone cut off his thumbs?
"They took my thumbs, Charlie!!!!!!!!!!"


Johnny’s up after Billy popped out. Top of the 6th. I’ve
officially become nauseous.


Joe Schmuck: Damon is all out of whack.

He actually gets paid for this stuff.


Why does Brian Cashman have his "face" on? Does he NOT know how to enjoy

I don’t really think anyone is going to read this….heck I’m already on page


Johnny is still up. Up yours Joe Schmuck. Full count with 1 out and no one


St Louis is coming back…4-3. And Johnny just hit the ball off his foot.
Freaking ow.


Johnny has been at bat for 7 minutes.

St Louis just tied the game. Are NO fans safe from being nauseated tonight?


Bernie Williams is the devil. And somehow Mark Bellhorn is allowed up at bat


Bush is talking about guns. This is where I start throwing things.


Tim McCarthy: "If Pedro Martinez retired now would he be in the Hall of Fame?
Absolutely." The 6th inning of game 2 is a little too late to start
kissing butt, Timmy.


Pedro has hit 100 pitches. In case you’re keeping track of things.

I think Al Leiter talks too much for Schmuck and McCarthy. They seem to lose
interest halfway through his monologues.


Mike Timlin is up in the bullpen. Maybe I’ll go blind by the 7th


John Olerud just hit a two-run homerun. 3-0 Yanks. I’ll be right back, I need
to get a beer. Maybe some scotch.


The "Pedro" chant is making its way through Yankee Stadium as Pedro strikes
out his 7th batter, Miguel Cairo. Why, as fans, do we think this
bothers the player? It actually sounds kind of cool.


The Celtics lost and I’m forced to look at Michael Felger’s obnoxious face.

NESN is showing the Cards game…if we don’t get some runs in the seventh I
might have to turn the channel for a few pitches.


Bush just said that his wife speaks English better than he does. A veiled
insult thrown at Teresa? Why am I torturing myself this way?


Who is that man and why does he have Manny Ramirez’s hairdo?


6-4 St Louis….Kevin is at bat. I’m thisclose to setting this jersey on fire.


Isn’t this stupid debate supposed to be over?

Anything is better than Fox right now.


George Stephanopolous is losing his boyish looks. It only took 12 years.


Derek Jeter always looks like he short sheeted your bed.

Mike Timlin always looks like he wants to punch the kid who short sheeted his
bed right in the face.

7-4 St Louis. Well at least SOMEONE in red is winning.


"A musical recap" THERE’S a productive way to spend time.

Pedro should punch everyone of the guys in the dugout RIGHT in the face. I’m
sorry. But he should. Except for Cabrera.


Billy Mueller just saved Timlin’s cheese. But to no avail….Embree is on his
way in.


Manny knows he’s an outfielder, right?

St Louis is winning 10-4. Why is Keith Foulke warming up? We’re DOWN 3-0.
There I go, I said. "we".

That was effective, bringing in Embree. Egads.


Top of the 8th…Lieber is still in there…Trot is up. A hit, a
freaking hit!!!!!! And Mr. Lieber can call it a night.

I don’t get it…the guy pitches 7 innings and gives up 3 hits….why the heck is
he taking him out?


Okay guys, time to pound on their bullpen. Tom Gordon coming aboard.


Jason Varitek…..still at bat at 10:52pm.


Jason hits a double – men on 2nd and third. Words of wisdom from
Tim McCarthy: "That’s the difference between scoring a run and not scoring a
run" ….Why isn’t this man in Mensa?????? No outs.

I’m losing my calmness. Soon this journal will be peppered with expletives.
I’m trying to avoid that.


3-1 thanks to OC’s sacrifice. "Trading an out for a run on a 3 run lead, you
can do that" Thanks, Tim….I’m sure Joe Torre appreciates your support.


3 balls 1 strike to Billy Mueller. I’d like to kiss the guy who hit Gordon in
the eye with the cork. Unless it was Jeter or Dora.


Full count. If I vomit on my laptop the journal is finished.


Johnny is up with 2 outs and Tek on third. Rivera is on his way to the mound.
I’m sweating like OH a sweaty pig.

This is FUN, right? This is why I love baseball? I need a new hobby.

Oh and channel 5 is trying to scare us with another Schilling story. Is
Boston the only town where the lead story is about a sports team – even on the
night of a presidential debate?


Or, as Joe Schmuck calls it "close to the top of the hour".


Funny how Rivera didn’t try to throw the bat pieces at Johnny. Wouldn’t THIS
have been a good time to show Clemens?


Johnny just took strike 3. This game is over. I mean, it isn’t yet…but it
might as well be.

I’m not usually this downbeat, but this team has sucked every positive
vibe out of my soul. I hope I’m wrong, but I don’t see good things in the ninth.


Did Keith Foulke just hit Miguel Cairo?????  Good God.


Joe Schmuck doesn’t think the Sox will be "devastated" if they lose tonight. 
How does he think their fans will feel?


Not actually "watching" the game….just listening from another room 
Another Curt mention so I’m sure we got the dugout shot.  2 out, 2 on Jeter
at bat.

Bottom of the 8th in case you’re still following along.


3-1 count to Jeter.  Let’s walk the bases loaded…it isn’t as if anyone
good is coming up to bat.

Nice to know Keith Foulke listens to me.


Well at least he got out of the inning. Now Bellhorn, Manny and Ortiz up
against Rivera.  I should feel better about this than I do.


That was quick.  Now it’s up to Manny and Ortiz.


Manny gets a double.  I can’t feel my legs.


Ortiz strikes out.  Two outs.  It’s up to Kevin now.


Millar strikes out.  Game over.  Excuse me while I go throw up.

The entire dugout should be ashamed of themselves.  Terribly, terribly


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