The “Please God let them beat Kansas Freaking City” Live Blog

Things can only get better with this road trip, right?  I’m putting behind me the debacle that was the Tampa Bay series (But, may I say, as an organization and a team, the DRays s uck?  Seriously.  How many times did they try to start something by hitting one of our guys?  And playing "Sweet Caroline" on Sunday?  And calling it "The World Series"?  And those ridiculous cowbells?  And the fact that it sounded like "The Heckler" was, at one point, actually heckling his own team?  Whatever works for you when you’re in last place, I guess).

But enough about Tampa Bay…we’re on to Kansas City…and Jon Lester is pitching tonight.  And if they don’t pull this one out, well…let’s just say I’m going to get a little cranky.  And nobody likes me when I’m cranky.

Back around 8pm for the fun!

8:01 – Okay, I was watching the Reds game because I’m developing a crush on George Grande (or, at least, his voice) and I want to see them WIN!  I’ve heard that Grande is a major homer but I’m not seeing it.  He’s been pretty hard on David Ross tonight.  Anyway, while watching the game I caught a glimpse of Bronson in the dugout – the cornrows are back, baby!  He’s, obviously, trying to get his mojo back.  Here’s hoping it works.

8:04 – Why the odd start times?  Why can’t baseball games start at 8pm or 7pm?  8:10?  What is that?

8:07 – Remy just told me (yes, ME) that Liriano is on the dl.  Yeesh.  That’s gotta hurt.  Also just caught a glimpse of Mark Loretta and Coco Crisp doing some funky, pre-game handshake.  Mark Loretta looks like the nerdiest guy on the team…it’s funny to see him doing that.

8:08 – I click on the Yankees game and Johnny Damon gets a gift on-base by Mackwhatshisname in the outfield.  As my dad says often, "The entire Yankees team has a horseshoe up its ****".

8:10 – The offensive behemoth known as Javy Lopez is catching tonight.  Oh happy day.

8:12 – I wonder.  Does Tito put Crisp in the lead-off spot just to irritate Red Sox Nation?

8:13 – Thank you Mackwhatshisname in the outfield.  Damon scores with one out.  1-0 Yanks.

8:14 – Coco makes out number 1 and I’m not terribly surprised.  Meanwhile, my Yankees game feed just died.  🙁

8:16 – Nice catch by Luke Hudson.  Mark Loretta hit the middle of his glove.    NESN shows a Royals fan sitting next to a Red Sox fan.  The Red Sox fan holds up a sign that reads "Papi Power" and the guy next to her holds up a sign that reads "I’m with stupid".  Class.  Pure class.

8:18 – Papi is already down 0-2.

8:19 – And Papi draws the walk!

8:21 – Manny is amazing.  No doubt about it.  But when he swings and misses, it looks just OH so ugly.

8:23 – Hey, Manny draws a walk too and brings up Youk.  Let’s go Youk…hit him early and often!

8:25 – Dammit.  Youk makes the third out.  Well, at  least Hudson threw a lot of pitches.

8:29 – Wily Mo Pena catches the first out that I thought was going to be Lester’s first hit and run.  🙂

8:30 – And then he gives up a single…

8:33 – And he walks Sweeney…

8:35 – Two on, one out…come on Jon, cut the crappe.

8:36 – Good freaking lord this is a long inning.

8:37 – YAY!  Gimpy Mike Lowell nabs the second out!

8:50 – Comcast irritates me.  Internet access went down again.  What the hey?  No matter, score is still 0-0 (with one out) in the bottom of the second.

8:53 – ARod just hit a two-run homerun to give the Yanks the lead.  That should be good for a day of no boos, eh?

8:55 – John Buck (I have a cousin with that name who was also a catcher!) hit a double…men on second and third with one out.  Lester definitely is struggling tonight.

8:56 – Royals have the 1-0 lead on a single.  First and third with one out.  This is, shall we say, stinky.

8:57 – 2-0 on a sacrifice fly.  The Royals 2-0.  Give me a freaking break.

8:58 – Lester has 43 pitches in not even 2 innings.  Lovely.

9:00 – Strikes out Grudzielanek to get the third out.  I’m not impressed, Jon.  You let this team get two runs in the second inning.  Pretty freaking sad.

9:03 – AGon leads off the third.  Come on, Alex…it’s the freaking ROYALS.

9:04 – One out.

9:07 – Royals pitching is currently one-hitting the Red Sox. Just thought that was worth pointing out.  2-0 in the middle of the third.

9:12 – Hey, Lester struck out Sweeney.  Nice way to begin the bottom of the third.

9:14 – Random picture of Bronson to bring some good luck.

9:15 – Two outs…none on.  Go figure.

9:18 – This is ridiculous.  Lester walks what should have been out number 3. You know, I’m really not ‘worried’ about the Sox just yet…but the beginning of this game is just pathetic.

9:20 – Yay.  Out of the inning.  2-0 Royals at the end of the 3rd.

9:23 – Well, Papi gets out but Manny gets a hit in his 23rd straight game.  A double.  Let’s try to capitalize, shall we boys?

9:26 – Hudson is getting a little wild.  Manny makes it to third with Youk at bat with a 2-2 count.

9:27 – Now THESE are the Royals.  DeJesus almost makes a great catch.  Instead, Youkilis gets a double.  Back to back doubles. I should have written, now THESE are the Red Sox.  Except, this Red Sox player just got run down and tagged out.  Nice move, Youk.

9:28 – Well, at least Mike Lowell is on first.  Come on, Wily Mo.  Runs.  We need runs.

9:30 – And Wily Mo comes through!  Crushes a two-run homerun.  3-2 Red Sox.

9:31 – Javy Lopez gets his first hit as a Red Sox player!  Keep it coming, boys!

9:33 – AGon hits a single that brings Javy to third base.  Men on first and third with two outs.  Not to worry, Royals fans, for Coco Crisp is here to kill the rally.  (Man, I’m negative tonight!)

9:35 – Told you so. 3-2 Red Sox, middle of the fourth.

9:39 – One out with John Buck up. 

9:40 – Lester has thrown three straight balls to Buck.  Ooh, look, a strike.

9:42 – HEY called strike 3 to Buck, who tried to take first anyway.  Nice work, Jon.

9:43 – Tina Cervasio tells us that Wily Mo’s homerun went 451 feet as Jon Lester gets his 1-2-3 inning.  3-2 Red Sox after 4 innings.

9:47 – Loretta just got hit on the elbow.  I’ll be pissed if he’s hurt.  I’m getting sick of these pitchers hitting our players.

9:49 – Come on, Papi.  Make this Luke kid pay for hitting the Low Rider.

9:49b – Or not.

9:52 – Manny gets another hit.  🙂

9:53 – Youk is out, men on first and third with two outs.  And, for the Boston fans, there is a FREDO sighting!!!!!!  Eric Frede is in the house, people!!!!!

9:55 – Eh.  Boston strands 2.  3-2 going to the bottom of the fifth.

9:59 – Mark Loretta is out of the game.  Here’s hoping Remy is right and it’s just precautionary, because I’ll have to kick that Luke Hudson’s pukey **** if Loretta is hurt.

10:00 – With one out, Mark Grudzielenak gets a single.  I bet if the score was a bit higher, someone would be getting plunked this inning.

10:02 – Sweeney gets a hit.  Men on first and second with one out.  Jon Lester makes me want to cry.

10:04 – Jerry Remy tells me that Julian Tavarez is possibly up in the bullpen and I want to jump out a window.  Then he corrects himself and tells me it’s Craig Hansen.  Jerry Remy is obviously not a heterosexual woman.  I’m just sayin’.

10:05 – Lester has two outs with men on first and second…a passed ball wild pitch moves both runners so there are men in scoring position with one out and a 1-0 count.

10:07 – Lester hits whichever guy this was to load the bases.  Well, I wanted a Royals player to get hit…but not right now.

10:08 – Wally is back!  Not The Green Monster, Dave Wallace, the pitching coach.  Welcome back, Wally!  Now kick this kid in the behind!

10:09 – YES is bragging that they’re the number one watched regional sports network in the country.   Hmmm…that wouldn’t have anything to do with the population of New York, would it?  Seriously.  How ridiculous is that?

10:10 – Yes, I’m avoiding Emile Brown and his base hit to give the Royals the 4-3 lead.

10:12 – Lester gets his fifth strikeout after giving up the lead.  Sox better come back and pick him up like they’re so fond of saying they do. 4-3 Royals after five.

10:15 – Okay, it worked last time.  We need more Bronson.

10:16 – Sox aleady have two outs.  Lopez looked safe to me and no one from the Boston dugout bothered arguing.  AGon is up.  This inning looks over.  :-/

10:17 – My mistake.  The Bronson mojo worked (I put it up after the second out!).  Double for AGon.  Sadly, Coco is up now.  Come on, Coco!  Make me look silly for doubting you!

10:20 – Or don’t.  God this is pathetic.  4-3 Royals after 5.5.

10:23 – Come on Craig…stop the bleeding.

10:26 – Are you kidding me?  Ball goes by Lowell…Buck gets a hit with no outs.

10:27 – Beautiful.  A bunt gets thrown into the dugout by Craig Hansen.  Men on first and third with no outs.  Lovely.  This game is turning into one giant joke.

10:31 – Hansen now has the bases loaded with no outs.  Looks like the kids are stinking up the joint tonight.  Ugh.

10:32 – I’m beginning to think that Jason Varitek’s fabled "game-calling skills" are a  lot more important that people give him credit for.

10:33 – Wow.  An out.  And all they had to do was give up a run for it.  One out two on and Mike Sweeney and his under .200 batting average is up.  Yippee.

10:40 – I’m not going to lie…I turned the channel until Hansen got out of the inning.  Top of the seventh, KC up 5-3 with Alex Cora up (he replaced Mark Loretta).  I know there is plenty of time left in this game…but I’m getting very irritated.  Kind of unlike me…must be residual from my mood over the last week.  Cora is out.

10:44 – Papi’s 1000th hit is his 41st homerun this season and there are actually peole in KC booing.  Your team is still winning, idiots…5-4 Kansas City.  One out – no one on and a pitching change coming.  Congratulations, Big Papi!!!

10:48 – Beautiful catch by Reggie Sanders.  See, Royals fans, you can appreciate a good play without betraying  your team.

10:49 – Manny and Youk can’t deliver and it’s 5-4 Kansas City going into the bottom of the seventh.

10:50 – If the scores stay the way they currently are and the Red Sox lose and the Yankees win, the Sox will be three games back in the standings.  That will annoy me less than the fact that the Red Sox aren’t blowing away the Royals.

10:52 – Apparently,  none of this bothers Terry Francona, because this genius just put Rudy Seanez in the game.  Nothing like conceding the game in the seventh inning, Tito.

10:57 – Seanez just gave up a homerun…all those who are surprised by this, raise your hand.

11:01 – I switched the channel to see what the Yankees were doing and come back to a commercial.  I’m hoping Seanez got out of the inning and this isn’t just a pitching change.

11:03 – Joe Nelson is in for the Royals.  He used to be with the Red Sox.  I have a picture of him somewhere that I took in 2004.  Hope we kill him this inning.

11:05 – Mike Lowell draws a walk to start the inning just as Mariano Rivera blows the save.  Paul Konerko hits a lead-off homerun to tie the game in the bottom of the ninth.  In the minute or so I’ve looked at the Yanks game, Nelson gets a double-play and there is two outs and Javy Lopez up.  God loves to mess with me.

11:07 – Holy cow, Javy hit a double.  Go figure.

11:10 – Not that it ended up mattering.

11:12 – Without my watching, Rudy has two outs.

11:14 – And with my watching, Rudy gives up a hit.

11:27 – Batshit comes through but it’s 6-4 going into the ninth.

11:28 – 2-1 count to Alex Cora with Coco on second and Big Papi on deck…why do they do this to me?  Cora is out…

11:35 – Big Papi walks to bring up Manny.  Two on, one out.  They’re slowly killing me, you realize…

11:37 – ..and Manny strikes out.  Bringing up Youk….

11:41 – A force out at second ends the game – 6-4 Royals.  I’m thoroughly disgusted.