Top Ten Tips on How to Survive Baseball’s Off Season:

(Note from Cyn:  Tru comes through again!)

1. Play any interview of Curt Schilling

This technique has a value of three to four weeks, comprised of arguing with everyone, including, but not limited to your mailman.

2. Watch replays of Eric Gagne in a Red Sox uniform

Still highly effective, this approach may tax your health care coverage.

3. Pine Tar your bed posts

While not very popular, waking to the smell of baseball will keep you happy for a few weeks. Also plan on sleeping alone, or prepare for an intervention from your spouse.

4. Attend Bench Rocking classes

The Leo Mazzone School of Bench Rocking has gained wide popularity, and you too can learn to rock with the best of them. Terry Francona is slated to be a guest speaker at the December gathering at the Ramada Inn in Seekonk, Rhode Island.

5. Meet and Greet

While still unorthodox, finding out where players reside in the off season, breaking into their homes remains a great way to keep your baseball love in tact.

6. The Mall

Standing outside JC Penney in the dead of winter, and screaming Julio Lugo is a gold glover is sure to attract other fans and good baseball discussion. This is good for holiday shopping weekends, but has a value of a day or two.

7. Attend Vigils

Since the famous trade of Nomar Garciaparra, vigils have become a way of life. There are chapters for Bronson Arroyo, and a newly formed Manny Ramirez charter. Understand though, that wearing black is mandatory.

8. Build a Park

Teach your kids, the nieces and nephews how to build a baseball park from snow and ice. Spray painting the details of your favorite ball park is a great finishing touch. Don’t forget to have dogs and a beer, as you watch the tykes slide into home, and beyond. This has a day value, and should be carefully planned around a January thaw.

9. Be a Player at Work

Don your team uniform and act like your favorite player for a week, while your co workers look on in astonishment and envy. Matt Garza impersonations may result in health code violations. Three week value rating.

10. GM-A-Thons

Equipped with throw away cell phones, you and your friends can occupy late evenings calling baseball general managers in both leagues, while proposing impossible trades and deals. Imagine the fun of being Arn Tellem and telling Brian Cashman that you can deliver top talent at a fraction of his market value! This has a rating of 8 ~ 10 weeks.

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