Game 1 of the 2006 ALDS Live Blog

I hate Fox…let’s get that out of the way right off.  What is this noise they are starting the game off with and why do they keep showing dead people? 

Ah Jeanne Zelasko and Kevin Kennedy defending Pettitte and Clemens…stunning.

In an effort to keep the baseball fans up until two am, Fox is going to start the 8pm game at 8:20.  Have I mentioned that I hate Fox?

Cardinals and As both win today…I wanted the Cards and the Twins to win, but I’m very happy at how well Frank Thomas played.  Eat THAT, Kenny Williams.

8:09 – Oh, man…now we’re going to get a five minute "Please stop  hating A-Rod" piece.  If God doesn’t want millions of baseball fans to start bashing their heads against a wall, he’ll spare us too many games with the "poor A-Rod" theme.

8:11 – "Alex Rodriguez in the six spot…that’s perfect for him", says Kevin Kennedy.  Is he for real?  He also just picked the Yankees in four.  Given that everyone and their brother has picked the Yankees, he isn’t exactly going out on a limb here, is he?

8:14 – Oh joy.  Joe Buck AND Tim McCarver.  I’m quivering.  Or maybe I’m just about to throw up.

8:16 – Girly moment.  Nate Robertson is a giant bag of adorable.  Let’s hope he pitches as good as he looks tonight.

8:18 – Off-topic since Fox is into the fourth minute of commercials…someone came upon my blog today after typing "0rgasm sounds" into their search engine.  I’m sure that’ll make the powers that be at MLBlogs happy, what with all the censoring they try to do!  🙂

8:20 – It is 8:20, beatches…start the damn game.

8:21 – Tim McCarver says Wang is "baseball’s best bargain"…I know that is supposed to be a compliment but it makes it sound like the Yankees found him under some underwear in the bargain bin.

8:22 – As Wang gets the first out, Joe Buck feels the need to remind us that the Tigers didn’t win the division, they only came in on the Wild Card.  Apparently, Mr. Buck forgets who won the World Series in 2002, 2003 & 2004.

8:24 – Two outs.  Ooh…a close up of Nate!  (Sorry, there will be lots of girly moments with Nate…he’s pretty much the best-looking guy on both teams!)

8:25 – Wang gets a 1-2-3 first inning and the Fox execs already start to fret that this game WON’T go four hours.

8:27 – Here’s Nate!  "With his 13 wins and good ERA", says Joe Buck.  There’s that brilliant baseball mind at work, folks.

8:28 – Johnny Damon wants Nate’s ERA to get even better, so he obliges with the first out.

8:29 – Captain Intangibles gets a single and Buck and McCarver are trying to find a way to credit it to his leadership abilities.

8:30 – Oh, now we have to hear about the poor Yankees and their injuries this year.  Cry me a river, Joe Buck.

8:31 – The Tigers fail to finish the double play and I reflect on how the best infield in MLB is at home watching this game right now.

8:32 – In all honesty, if the Red Sox even consider picking up Sheffield in the off-season, I might have to move to Cincinnati.

8:33 – Nate has a cute butt.  I don’t say that to be too girly, but I usually don’t notice a guy’s butt.  Nate’s is cute.  (See, this is what happens when I’m forced to watch the Yankees…)

8:34 – Sheffield hits the ball right to center field and the Yankees fans react, as usual, like it is going out of the park.  It didn’t.  Inning over.  Nice job, Nate.

8:36 – I’m not even close to being a Tommy Lasorda fan, but I love this damn commercial.  "October is the time to root AGAINST the Yankees".  Best.  Commercial.  Ever.

8:37 – Magglio Ordonez just nailed the ball against the centerfield wall.  He now stands on 2nd.  This is the way to play a ball game, fellas.

8:38 – Did the  Yankees doctor that photo of Magglio that Fox just showed?  Dude is practically bald in it.

8:39 – To quote Shirley Feeney, "We need a hit!  We need a hit!  We need a great, big, HIT!"

8:41 – A walk works too.

8:41b – I love the hit and run play.  (Hey, I’m a Red Sox fan, we  never get to see it!) Of course, since McCarver thinks that’s what they are going to do…they probably won’t.

8:42 – They do…and it doesn’t work.  Usually, you need to hit the dam ball to make the hit and run work.  Magglio takes a seat.

8:44 – And Pudge takes a seat as well.  Two out, man on second.  Craig Monroe makes out number 3.  HGHiambi, Slappy and Matsui are up after whatever the hell this commercial is supposed to be.

8:47 – Nate Robertson carves a deeper spot in my heart by leading off the inning by hitting HGHiambi.  The Yankees fans are now giving Slappy a very nice ovation…until, he does something stereotypically Slappy.

8:50 – Holy cow Patrick Ewing is a large man!

8:52 – With HGHiambi still on first, the Yanks have two outs.  Come on, Nate, you can get Sid the Sloth out.

8:53 – Or not.

8:54 – Hey, they’re playing Mike Timlin’s song!

8:55 – And it inspires Nate to get Cano out.  Nice work, Nate!!

8:58 – What the heck was that?  Well, it has Marcus Thames on second base (being ruled a double).  Matsui is a monster behind the plate, but not so much in the field, eh?

9:00 – Brandon Inge is out and Thames is still on second.

9:01 – "Curtis Granderson"…one of my favorite baseball names.

9:02 – Granderson gets a single, Lamont keeps Thames on third.  Good call, I think.  No need pushing things in the third inning.  Especially  not with only one out.

9:04 – Of course, I write that and  Polanco hits into a double play.  Okay, now I’m with Jere…I changed my mind and hate the hit and run with Pudge at the plate.  Tigers should have at LEAST one run by now.  Grrr.

9:08 – I was at a game last year at Yankee Stadium.  The Yankees lost (Schilling pitched a gem)…I never heard the "Let’s Go Yankees" chant once.

9:08b – Oh Nate.  Giving Demon that hit.  What are you DOING?

9:10 – Fox is now playing the theme to  "Batman" over Robinson Cano and Derek Jeter.  Let the homoerotic jokes commence.

9:12 – Jeter hits a double and gets Damon to third.  Two on, no outs.  Get it together, Nate.  Cut the crap.

9:13 – Abreu just knocks both Demon and Captain Fistpump in.  2-0 Yanks with no outs and Abreu on second.  Ugh.

9:15 – Sadly, Nate is obviously affected by this inning.  Sheffield gets a hit (ooh and we get the crowd shot of geeks in chef hats).  Still no outs, now 3-0 with HGHiambi up.

9:16 – Fox just showed Jeter in the dugout waving his arm.  Is it bad that I was wishing it would fly off and knock Slappy on his ****?

9:17 – Tim McCarver just mentions how he has never seen a line up where every  hitter in it has made the All Star team at least once.  Thank you, Tim, for proving my point about how losing two guys out of that line up isn’t really a big deal when two-thirds of the line up are freaking All Stars.  Every team in MLB would have killed to have the line up the Yankees did when they were supposedly ‘hobbled’ by injuries.

9:18 – Joe Buck just said HGHiambi’s name was "dragged" into the whole Balco thing.   Guess that had nothing to do with Giambi actually taking steroids, huh?  Oh, and HGHiambi hits a two-run homerun, as if to punctuate my point. 

9:20 – 5-0 Yanks with no outs in the third inning and ARod on first.   6 hits in a row.  Nate, I love you, but you just don’t have it tonight.  Get him the hell out of there, Jim.

9:22 – Jere makes a great point in the comments here.  Jeter does that hand clapping crap all the way home and everyone thinks it is so great – one of the Red Sox, especially Manny, does that and they’re evil.

9:23 – Well, the good thing about this happening in the third inning is that the Tigers have time to come back.  Hey, I’m an optimist, what can I say?  At least Nate has one out…

9:24 – And now he has two thanks to Magglio!  My sistahs will know what I mean when I say that Nate owes Magglio something special.

9:25 – Cano ends the inning.  5-0 Yankees at the end of three.  I hope the Tigers come back for many reasons, not the least of which is it will get that smug sound out of Joe Buck’s voice.

9:30 – Okay boys, you can’t come back if you get outs this quickly.

9:30 – Good job, Guillen.  Good job.  Let’s build on it, boys.

9:36 – My MLBLog went down for the last 12 minutes.  Thought it was my wireless, but  no…just the MLBlogs site.  So this live blog might end up running a lot slower than I hoped for. 

9:38 – Oh…and the Tigers didn’t score.  Still 5-0.  Huzzah.

9:39 – Nate gets Demon out…come on, Nate, make this a quick inning.

9:40 – Oh, yay…we get to hear from Joe Torre.  I wait for this all year long.

9:40b – Captain Intangibles gets another hit.  Woo-hoo.

9:41 – Joe Buck just told us that Joe Torre doesn’t have to ‘join’ them for the interview but he does.  Will he say that after they interview Leyland, or is the oral service only for Torre?

9:42 – Hey, Jeter gets caught running and is now warming the bench.  YAY!  Nice little grin from Pudge.

9:42 – Abreu’s fly ball ends the inning.  Well done, Nate.  Time to capitalize, fellas.

9:43 – Do I honestly care that the only place I can buy wine is a liquor store?  This is a commercial they just aired.  I’m supposed to vote ‘yes’ on question 1 so that liquor stores can’t have a monopoly on wine sales.  Apparently, grocery stores and supermarkets are really hot to sell wine.  Who the heck cares?

9:46 – Woo-hoo, baby!  They got a run!  🙂  5-1 Yankees thanks to a Craig Monroe lead-off home run!!!

9:47 – Did McCarver just say to ‘credit’ Monroe?  Or did he just say his name?  I’m going to just forget about it.  Way to go, Craig!

9:48 – Apparently, Marcus Thames didn’t get the message that this was going to be the rally inning.

9:49 – But Brandon Inge (or, as my dad calls him, "that kid with the short, funny name") did!  One on, one out with Curtis, my main man, up.

9:50 – Oh, for the love of…

9:51 – Fair ball, baby!!!!!  Inge comes in on a double by Polanco!  5-2 Yankees with two outs.

9:53 – Sean Casey watches professional wrestling AND reads the bible every day. Thank you for that important information, Fox.  But who really cares since dude just knocked in another run!!!  Casey is on second.  5-3 Yankees.

9:55 – Bruney is up in the bullpen and Joe Buck mistook him for Jaret Wright.  I mean REALLY.

9:56 – Now we’ll find out if Magglio’s power is in his hair…

9:56b – Guess not.  How funny is it to see the Yankees fans emulating Red Sox fans by pounding on the wall?  Maybe funny is the wrong word. 

9:57 – 5-3 Yankees.   Detroit certainly makes things interesting.

10:01 – MLBlogs had another brain fart.  I missed Jim Leyland’s interview.  I also missed Giambi get hit by another pitch.  I know it is bad baseball when your team is losing, and I also know probably neither HBP was intentional…but it still endears Nate to me all the more.

10:03 – Slappy is 1-2 but, as McCarver pointed out, they were both good at-bats.  Apparently that’s all that matters.   My boy Nate catches Dora looking.

10:05 – Did you know that Matsui is a ‘star’ in Japan?  And that his nickname is "Godzilla"?  Why do they hide this information from us all season long?  When is McCarver going to start talking about Matsui’s p0rn collection?

10:06 – HGHiambi ‘stole’ second.  Well, he was given it more or less, but regardless, he’s at second.  No matter.  Godzilla makes the out and it is still 5-3 at the end of 5.

10:09 – Okay, I switched over just for a minute to get my Tuesday does of Law and Order:SVU if only for a minute.  Man, I love  my dvr!

10:10 – Come on, Guillen…do it again…

10:11 – Or not.  One out.

10:12 – Two outs.  Again, fellas, not the way to mount a comeback.

10:13 – That ever-optimistic Red Sox fan in me just said "hey, if he hits a homerun, it’s only a one-run game!"…

10:14 – Craig Monroe’s mother’s name is "Marilyn" according to Tim McCarver…so, of course, McAsshat takes this time to talk about Joe Dimaggio.  Top of the sixth over, 5-3 Yankees.

10:17 – Okay, Tommy Lasorda’s "Cleveland" commercial is a little obnoxious.  He just called the fans ‘babies’ because they don’t want to watch baseball if their team isn’t in it.  Ah, that’s the Tommy that I know and don’t love.

10:18 – Fox waits until the sixth inning to trot out Ken Rosenthal…thus proving that they don’t totally hate us.

10:18b – Nate has two outs.

10:18c – The cynic in me thinks they’re making a bigger deal out of Randy Johnson that it really is…maybe not.  Maybe he’ll pitch in game 3 and be absolutely horrible because of the herniated disc.  I just have this feeling the Yankees are trying to create their own Curt Schilling, playoff moment.

10:20 – Cheap hit by Demon…but a hit is a hit, eh?

10:22 – Jeter is 4-4.  You realize that if the Yankees end up losing this game, all we’ll hear about is how Jeter did it all and ARod did nothing, right?  Two on and two out with Abreu up. 

10:23 – Abreu knocks in two runs and I have to agree with Jere again…it’s like he purposely underachieved in Phillie.  Man, I hate him so I guess he has become a ‘true’ Yankee, huh?  7-3 Yankees with two outs. 

10:23b – Nate is out of the game.  I think I’ll leave a comment at his blog asking why he didn’t save one of those HBP for Jeter.

10:27 – As Jere would say, terrible job Fox.  They’re so busy with commercials that they come back to the game IN progress.  Tigers get out of the inning.  7-3 Yankees.

10:30 – What the hell is that???  A fake Tommy telling me to watch the post-season on Fox.

10:31 – Good God, I’m not sure how many more games I can suffer through on Fox.

10:33 – Why do baseball announcers always talk about the ‘great seats’ folks have?  No one has a better seat than the guys in the booths…

10:33b – Apparently, the Tigers have somewhere to be.  2 outs already.

10:36 – Mike Myers is in to pitch to Granderson. 

10:38 – 7-4 because Curtis went deep on Myers!!!!!!  I love it when they bring in a guy and he gives up a homerun!

10:39 – Myers gives up a homerun, Yankees still have a three-run, two-out lead in the seventh, and the Yankees fans boo Myers anyway.  It’s going to be a long series for the Yankees if this is what the fans have in store for them.

10:42 – Polanco gets a hit off of Proctor with Sean Casey up…

10:45 – BEAUTIFUL hit by Sean Casey to get Magglio up to the plate!!!  Two on, two out, with Magglio up!

10:47 – Ah, dammit.  7-4 going into the 18 minute-long version of "God Bless America".  Pardon me while I change the channel.

10:51 – Still  not back to the game.

10:52 – Five minutes later we might be getting back to baseball.  Sheez.

10:53 – Good lord HGHiambi is a sweaty guy, eh?

10:54 – Jamie Walker walks HGHiambi.  Well, better than letting him hit a homerun that someday will get taken off the record-books.

10:55 – Is Joe Buck serious?  The Tigers are "shocked" to be in the post-season?

10:56 – Slappy is out.  Again.

10:59 – Two outs.  Defense is so under-rated.

11:02 – Yankees leave two on.  Top of the 8th, 7-4 Yanks.  Come on, boys, you still have a shot here.

11:05 – Local news is telling me it is 68 degrees out right now.  Damn.  I should be outside enjoying this instead of inside watching this damn game.

11:05b – We have a Kyle Farnsworth sighting!

11:07 – Farnsworth has thrown 3 straight balls.  Make that four.  Let the booing begin.

11:07b – Someone needs to tell Yankees fans that 1) their team is WINNING and 2) it’s only the first game of the series.

11:08 – 6 balls in a row.  HEY he threw a strike!

11:10 – One on, one out and Farnsworth having trouble finding the plate.  Come on, guys, take advantage for crying out loud!

11:12 – "Monroe thought it was high."  So did I, Tim.  So did I.  Two outs.

11:14 – "Farnsworth trying to plow through this 8th inning" says Joe Buck.  Did he see the beginning of this inning?  Not exactly ‘plowing’.

11:16 – Well this stinks.  Farnsworth gets out of the inning.  7-4 going to the bottom of the 8th.

11:20 – Buck’s and McCarver’s knees and jaws are going to be awfully sore from all the servicing of the Yankees they’ve been doing.

11:21 – Demon strikes out.

11:22 – Joe Buck and Tim McCarver think that Derek Jeter deserves the MVP…Wow.  Who’d have thunk it?

11:22b – Captain Intangibles goes 5-5, capping it with a homerun.  I’m waiting for the curtain call…

11:23 – I think ARod wants to kill himself now.

11:23b – There is the curtain call.  Someone has a sign that says "Captain Clutch".  Pardon me while I laugh at that. 

11:24 – Seriously.  Any more oral copulation and I might have to take Rob’s advice and finally shut off the audio.

11:26 – Inning  over.  8-4 Yanks going to the ninth.

11:29 – Fruit bat, er, Mariano Rivera is on the mound to close out the game.  Ah, now we get to hear about his injury.  Ooh, look, there’s Tim McCarver with a little show and tell…my that’s a pasty, white man.

11:31 – Mo gets his first out.  Man, it’s going to be a long series.  Especially if all the games are on Fox.

11:32 – Tim McCarver pointing out how many people are in New York.  Where did he get his numbers?

11:32b – Granderson annoys Fruit Bat with a hit.

11:34 – 8-4 is your final, folks.  Nate gets the loss.  Too bad.  Pardon me while I turn the channel so I don’t have to listen to Frank Sinatra and watch the Yankees pretend not to be robots.

This wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be.  I still don’t think the Yankees are going to go very far.  Maybe I’m wrong.  We’ll see.  It’ll be fun watching them go down when/if they do.

Have a good  night, folks!  Thanks for stopping by!