Shot to the heart

I cried last night.  It surprised me too.  It was well after the Red Sox had been eliminated and it came upon me suddenly.  I didn’t sob for hours on end, but in the middle of a conversation about the Reds and how happy I was for the team and especially their fans, I started to tear up.  I was crying tears of happiness for the Reds fans who have waited a bit of time for this and who probably didn’t think it would happen for a while.  I was crying because the friend I was having this discussion with lost a dear friend this year suddenly (who lived in Ohio and was a Reds fan) and he told me he bought tickets for the first Reds playoffs game and gave them to his friends widow and son.  Baseball is funny how it can make you feel so many emotions at once.  I was happy, I was sad and suddenly I was thinking about how there won’t be any baseball in October past Sunday afternoon for the Red Sox.  And I kept crying.

I thought I was okay with how things panned out.  The injuries.  The inexplicable need to blow saves by Papelbon.  John Lackey pitching like, well like many people who aren’t me kind of expected him to pitch.  The insane freaking injuries.  But then we started calling up the kids and the team stayed in it.  They won a lot of games with the Triple  A fellas in there and we had hope.  The only reason hope is bad is because of the letdown you get when you realize hope isn’t going to get you what you want.  (Not in all cases.  I’m a big fan of hope.  But this day after “dammit I wanted to see them in the playoffs” feeling is kicking my butt right now.)

The Red Sox still have five games to play before Truck Day becomes out focus.  I’ll happily be at two of those games but based on my unexpected reaction last night, those are going to be two emotional days.

So congratulations to the Reds and their fans.  It was fun to get to watch the team celebrate last night.  Heck, I was even happy for Dusty Baker. I hope the team goes far and while part of me would love for Bronson to get a shot at Slappy again, I’m really hoping the Reds meet the Twins in the World Series this year.

But right now?  Right now I need a little more time to work through my feelings about the end of the season for the Red Sox before I can start backing another horse.

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