It’s so different from the world I’m living in

Apparently, I have a reputation for being overly critical of Kevin Youkilis. Well, never let it be said that I won’t call myself out as a hypocrite when it is appropriate.

A little more than a year ago, I wrote a rant about Youk’s association with the energy drink known as “Slump Buster”. If you aren’t inclined to click on the link, I can sum up my rant thusly: I was pissed.

Allow me to quote myself, won’t you?

I’ve been debating this with folks for the latter part of the day. I must say I’m quite surprised at the number of people (men AND women) who don’t think Youk lending his name to a product called “Slumpbuster” is a bad move by our first baseman. I’m not the most radical feminist you’ve ever met. Hell, I have friends who don’t think I’m a feminist at all. But Youk giving his name to this drink and then hiding behind that decision by making the proceeds go to charity is just another in a long line of poor decisions regarding women by a professional athlete.

Now what I don’t mention in that rant, but is explained in the stories I link to there, is that the can for the energy drink looked like this:

with text reading:

In sports, in work or in your social life, everyone has been in a slump. You’ve tried everything…and then along comes a SlumpBuster…and you’re back on track. Slump Buster Energy Drink TAKE ONE DOWN!!!

That’s a lovely sentiment, no?

Well it seems I wasn’t the only one annoyed with Youk connecting his charity with something so tasteless and, seemingly, before it was even out there, the packaging was changed. I don’t remember if I knew this before I found the “SlumpBuster” this weekend.

There I was, shopping in Walgreens and desperate for a Red Bull. (My Red Bull addiction has been noted many times. I’ve actually been OFF the Red Bull for quite a while, but this day I decided to get off the wagon.) As I reach for one, I notice this slick-looking black can with what appears to be a baseball player on it and I decide to check it out. Imagine my surprise when I see that it is “Youk’s Signature SlumpBuster” (with 0 carbs, they point out twice on the can before you even get to reading the ingredients). Now, I haven’t seen this before so I’m fascinated that the packaging has changed so much. No depiction of half-dressed women. No mention anywhere of taking one down. Just 16 fl oz of “SlumpBuster Engergy”. It seems they’re leaning away from the “a slumpbuster is an ugly woman you sleep with to get out of your slump” implication and sticking with “get out of your slump with our drink”.

So, of course, I had to buy one. And here’s the kicker:

I think I like it.

I literally spit my first sip out into the kitchen sink. The taste repulsed me. It was like a thousand pieces of Juicy Fruit gum had been chewed until liquified and someone poured it down my throat.

Then I took another sip. And it didn’t taste so terrible. Still wasn’t great, but it didn’t have as foreign a taste as Red Bull has. (As much as I drink it, I still have a difficult time describing what it tastes like to those who have never tasted it.) I didn’t finish it out of concern about the empty calories and sugar and fat…and as I was dumping the rest of it in the sink, I saw this on the label:

Calories 0 – Sugars 0 – Sodium – 50mg (In contrast, Red Bull has 110 calories/Sugar Free Red Bull 10. Red Bull has 500mg of sodium while the sugar-free one has 200mg There are 27 grams of sugar in a regular Red Bull). Compared to Red Bull…this stuff is actually GOOD for me!!!

I lied early on in this post. I didn’t buy one can of Youk’s Signature SlumpBuster. I bought two.

And it sits in my refrigerator, quietly taunting me. While I sit here and wonder if I could get free SlumpBuster if I start being nicer to Youk?

Yes, this is a photo I took of SlumpBuster. Mmmm.

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