Things I wish I hadn’t done

The short list (because a list like this, for me, could go on for days – and in no particular order):

5.  Let that hairdresser give me that god-awful perm a week before my friend Ellen’s wedding.

4.  Stepped in front of Michael ^%&** (omitting his last name to protect the innocent) when I was three…instead of the piece of cement  hitting HIM in the face, it hit me, broke my glasses AND my nose.  (I was a sucker for men even at three years old!)

3.  Sent my ex-fiance a check worth half of our savings after he dumped me.

2.  Drinking hot mustard in my grandmother’s kitchen because I thought it would taste like regular mustard.

But most importantly:

1.  I wish I hadn’t watched the episode of "Camo Country" with Mike Timlin shooting a deer.

What the heck was I thinking?  Sure I get a charge out of what a ‘man’ he is.  That’s part of his appeal.  Good pitcher.  Strong faith.  Upstanding moral character.  He man who kills animals for fun.

God help me.  I find all of this wildly attractive, on m any levels.  But, it was just downright freaky to watch him get so jacked up about killing this 11-point deer. (At least I think that’s how you phrase it.  What I don’t know about deer hunting they haven’t made enough books to fill.)   I actually covered my eyes a couple of times – and they didn’t even get the ‘shot’ on tape!

I DID learn tht "Deer Hunting" is apparently a euphemism for "Watching deer all day until one comes along that you’re allowed to shoot".

I have no idea what possessed me to dvr "Camo Country" every week until the episode with Mike was on. 

Yes, I do.  Mike is my favorite active Red Sox player.  He really is.  So any chance I get to see him on television, I try to take.  But, man, I could have lived happily the rest of my life without seeing him manhandle some dead deer’s "rack".

Over at "Surviving Grady" it is often discussed that Mike is a bit…well, he comes across on the mound as a bit…well, the word we usually use is batsh*t.  The guy looks like psycho man out there.  Heck, check out the picture here from Ft Myers today,  and even with sunglasses on he looks like he wants to snap someone’s neck.  So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised at his orgasmic response to killing a deer.  But unless you’re starving and your only means of getting food is by hunting for it, I just don’t get it.